So, today is my baby girl’s fourth birthday!
It seems so crazy that she’s four. I really thought that she was older than that, but I found her shot records, and tada! She’s four!
It seems like just yesterday I brought her home. She was so cute! So little! It’s crazy right?
I remember when I took her to the vet, you know, to get her check up for being a puppy. The vet said that she was too lethargic, and that if she were to die, bag her up and bring her in so they could see what went wrong. I’ll admit, she was a sleepy puppy. But, I also think that she was younger than the people said she was… Anyhow, that was terrifying.
Some people think that I’m weird, that I had a weird connection to animals. Well, yea, I guess I do. I love animals way more than people, I’ll admit that. But, my dogs have always been my babies. I don’t have kids yet, so my Rockee girl is my baby! 🙂 I love her. And she loves me too.
Dogs are a great stress relief. Well, certain dogs… Here lately, we’ve had a hard time with another dog — she tore up everything in the house! But, mostly, dogs are great. There are all kinds of dogs for therapy. Some dogs can even help with asthma!
Rockee is special. She helps me and my fiance with anxiety. She’s very in tune with me. She detects changes in pitch in your voice. If you sound upset, or anxious, she’ll come and sit in your lap. Picking — which I do some times… Like picking at your skin? — she’ll come and want you to rub her. It’s kinda cool.
Anyhow, I just wanted to share my furbaby with you all. I hope that everyone has a chance to have their life touched by a furbaby.
It’s always hard to find the sun after the darkness of a storm has settled in. The storm being the harshness and darkness of the deepest fears and negativity of my own mind. It can be hard to see the light again.
For those who don’t know what a panic attack is, I would urge you to visit www.highanxieties.org where you can read some articles and post about what it can feel like. You can also do a google search and come up with some “expert” results.
For me, I don’t always fear dying. I fear simple things which turns into “well what if I die?” Example: I wanted to wreck the car yesterday on my way to work. Which, of course I didn’t because I didn’t even make it out if my drive way before Hubby figured out that this would go horribly wrong if I tried. I love that he is in tune with me that he knows when to not push. My counselor and my mom both appreciate that. I’m not entirely convinced that I would be here if it weren’t for him.
Today, we are outside. I’m enjoying the warm weather and the sunshine. Just seeing the sun helps. We’re grilling 🙂 one of my favorite things! Rockee and Maggie are playing in the back yard. Of course, Rockee wants her momma. But I don’t want to put her on a leash right now. Besides, I have to get ready for work here in a bit.
Mom met with janette today. It didn’t hurt my feelings that I wasn’t invited. I just wish that I actually could have gone just so that I could see mom. But work gets in the way, as usual.
One day, I will be happy in life and in my job. One day at a time.