Sitting in the Dark
I found this picture the other day on Facebook, and I couldn’t help but think of how perfect it was. “When you can’t look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark.”
Marcus and I, we talked about this just the other day. When I had episode # 12916, we talked about it. We talked about how, when I’m not ok, he will sit with me in the storm, and he will be my rock.
During the episode, we sat on the floor, between my screaming like a lunatic, crying, and trying to hurt myself, my hubby talked to me, listened to me. He was just sitting with me in my darkness.
I hope that I will be that for him when he needs it. I believe that I am. I try to be. I know that when my family is in a crisis, I am the one who they turn to. My mom talks to me, and, eventually, Marcus will talk to me. I think it’s hard for him, one, because he’s male – men find it harder to share emotions (they are taught that it’s a sign of weakness), and he’s Hispanic, so there is a cultural difference there too. I don’t think they believe in mental disorders. If they do, they don’t really talk about it.
I want to be a rock for people, but I need have a rock too. And I am thankful that I have my husband to help me and sit with me in the dark.