Monthly Archives: October 2015

A New Chapter

As some of you may know, I recently got married. It’s been a whirlwind and now I have time to post.

The thing I love about my husband, among many things, is that he is very supportive. Like with all my short-comings. He’s been there for me, where others in the past have not. He reminds me all the time of things that I’ve accomplished.

It’s crazy to think how much has changed in just two years. And it really doesn’t feel like it’s been two years. My husband will remind me to think of where I was two years ago, did I ever think that I would be here? The answer is always no.

Two years ago, my world was upside down. I was kicked out of my own home by my cheating ex husband. I was alone with no real place to go. I was on my mom’s air bed for two weeks, and several months at my sister’s, sleeping in my niece’s room. I was working three jobs and was still broke, on food stamps, and going through a divorce. I had no hope for the future, because I couldn’t see one. Two years ago, I was struggling with my mental health, housing, and life in general. I never thought that I would make it this far.

I became a job jumper. Looking for a job that I could handle and not make me want to kill myself, that paid well enough to make ends meet. The longest job I held was one for like 6 months I think.

Then, it came down to where I couldn’t afford my apartment. I moved in with friends. It was awkward and stupid for me to be there. I began cutting again. All the while trying to find a job and trying to deal with my mental issues. I had to move in with my mom. I was able to help her out around the house and didn’t have to worry where my next meal was coming from.

Then, my husband and I reconnected on Facebook. We started talking and we were making a long distant relationship work. We visited each other. We talked everyday. Finally we moved in together.

My accomplishments over the last year, May have been small. But they are very large considering where I’d been. I have held a job for 10 months now. I’m not cutting. I’m dealing with my panic attacks a little better. I’m married to a wonderful man. I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and clothes on my back. Things haven’t been easy, there were some rough moments. And there are daily challenges that I create in my own mind that I’m having to overcome. But I’m trying new things. I’m meeting new people. I’m making strides in my recovery. I’m being supportive and supported (and that’s really different). I’m making progress. And that’s something to be proud of.

I’m thankful for my husband everyday. He’s supportive of me and my thoughts. He wants to see us succeed. And that’s something that I’m still trying to get used to.

It’s been a little crazy, but since I’ve met my husband, things have been looking up. And I can’t wait to see where life will take us.