Parnoia and Irrational Thoughts
So, today, I went to the ER. Why? Well, I have something medical going on involving high blood pressure and high blood sugar, dizziness, and headaches. So anyhow, since I don’t have a regular doctor, I took myself to the ER.
The ER is not a place that I like to be, but when I have a problem that I can’t solve myself, I go. So, today I took myself. Checking in was the easy part. They took me back and had me to sign the papers, everything was good. Suddenly, while sitting on the bed, waiting for the doctor, it became hard to breathe. I felt anxious. That’s when the thoughts took over. I thought that the doctors were going to kill me, that people were out to get me, and I was going to die. I started taking the monitors off, they started beeping, and it scared me even more. So I hit the call button and frantically asked for someone to come in. The nurse came in and asked what was going on, and I straight up told her that I wanted to go home. She, of course, asked why. Well, why else would someone want to leave the hospital against medical advice other than they thought that someone was trying to kill them? I simply told her that I was becoming paranoid. She said ok, and started unhooking me. Meanwhile, the doctor finally showed up and asked what was going on. I told him that I was leaving and needed to leave now. He was just looking at me, so the nurse told him that I was paranoid and they let me go. I practically ran out of the ER.
Now, I know that this isn’t always how it happens, and people do experience paranoia. I have never actually experienced it, or if I have I can’t really recall. The thing that bugged me about today, is that I knew it was irrational. That all of this was happening inside my head and that it wasn’t real. That I knew that the doctor was only trying to help.
Paranoia comes in many forms, the most common is thinking that people are out to get you. I remember my psych doctor asking me that, and I honestly can’t remember what my response was.
DBT works to rationalize irrational thoughts. So at least I was aware enough that I knew what was happening.
Do you ever experience this? If so, what do you do to ground yourself?