Suicide is Selfish
That’s sometimes a ridiculous thing to say. But I think it’s true. I get it.
Suicide is a way out. A way to get out from under all the bullshit that life throws at you and gets you away from everyone who hates you. But suicide is selfish. Here’s why:
Suicide takes you completely out of the picture. You might not be in pain anymore, but what about those you leave behind? How are they supposed to go on without you? When you’re dead, you sleep, forever. You’re out of harms way. But what about all those people who did love you, whether you think so or not, there are people that love you.
Living with bipolar and BPD, it’s easy to think about suicide. It seems like it would just make everything so much easier. You wouldn’t have to fight everyday just to survive. But then, you wouldn’t be surviving anymore. You wouldn’t be enduring, you would be dead and gone.
I think that a lot of people who consider suicide but don’t attempt are brave. They are at a place that they can function and can at least think about the consequences of their actions. Meaning, leaving this life with so much life left to live, leaving people behind and responsibilities. We all have people. We might not always think we have people, but we do. There are people who depend on us to make them smile, because simply being in their life brings them joy. Without us, who takes care of them? Who do you take care of everyday? For me, that’s my mom and my dog Rockee. It doesn’t seem like much, but I know that my mom depends on hearing from me everyday. Rockee, she depends on me for everything. For her, I’m her life. She’s the child I never had and she depends on me for love, shelter, food, water, everything. I’m life to her. Because without me, she wouldn’t be here.
We all have someone. There’s someone who is depending on us. And without us, their world would fall apart. Don’t think you’re worth anything? Think again. Because somewhere, there is someone who cares just for you.
Suicide eliminates you from the picture, it takes you out of the world. I know that we all think about it, and at times it seems like the easiest thing to do. Suicide is simple, but it’s so unfair to everyone else. You will be remembered only as the selfish one who ended their life because they were tired of surviving, and that’s not how I want to be remembered. I want to be remembered as the one who survived until the very end. And that’s what I intend to do.
If you’re at the edge and you’re thinking about jumping, think about all your family, all your friends, your pets, even your coworkers. You touch people’s lives. You are someone. And there is someone out there that still needs you, I promise.