Suicide is Selfish

That’s sometimes a ridiculous thing to say. But I think it’s true. I get it.

Suicide is a way out. A way to get out from under all the bullshit that life throws at you and gets you away from everyone who hates you. But suicide is selfish. Here’s why:

Suicide takes you completely out of the picture. You might not be in pain anymore, but what about those you leave behind? How are they supposed to go on without you? When you’re dead, you sleep, forever. You’re out of harms way. But what about all those people who did love you, whether you think so or not, there are people that love you.

Living with bipolar and BPD, it’s easy to think about suicide. It seems like it would just make everything so much easier. You wouldn’t have to fight everyday just to survive. But then, you wouldn’t be surviving anymore. You wouldn’t be enduring, you would be dead and gone.

I think that a lot of people who consider suicide but don’t attempt are brave. They are at a place that they can function and can at least think about the consequences of their actions. Meaning, leaving this life with so much life left to live, leaving people behind and responsibilities. We all have people. We might not always think we have people, but we do. There are people who depend on us to make them smile, because simply being in their life brings them joy. Without us, who takes care of them? Who do you take care of everyday? For me, that’s my mom and my dog Rockee. It doesn’t seem like much, but I know that my mom depends on hearing from me everyday. Rockee, she depends on me for everything. For her, I’m her life. She’s the child I never had and she depends on me for love, shelter, food, water, everything. I’m life to her. Because without me, she wouldn’t be here.

We all have someone. There’s someone who is depending on us. And without us, their world would fall apart. Don’t think you’re worth anything? Think again. Because somewhere, there is someone who cares just for you.

Suicide eliminates you from the picture, it takes you out of the world. I know that we all think about it, and at times it seems like the easiest thing to do. Suicide is simple, but it’s so unfair to everyone else. You will be remembered only as the selfish one who ended their life because they were tired of surviving, and that’s not how I want to be remembered. I want to be remembered as the one who survived until the very end. And that’s what I intend to do.

If you’re at the edge and you’re thinking about jumping, think about all your family, all your friends, your pets, even your coworkers. You touch people’s lives. You are someone. And there is someone out there that still needs you, I promise.

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About Preslee

I am diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Panic and Anxiety disorders, and PTSD. I write about my own personal experiences and thoughts.

Posted on April 16, 2014, in Mental Health, Support and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Actually suicide happens because there is no picture. You are looking at this logically, there is no logic when you are so depressed you do not care to live. Logic… is the last thing on your mind. -OM

    • This is true. I’ve been there many times, but some people can find logic, even when they are about to jump. There is sometimes a moment of clarity, or at least there was for me a couple of times. There are times when I think about suicide and then I think about everything that I would leave behind and I know that I can’t do it. I’m simply saying that if you’re thinking about it, because some people actually plan it, to think again, to really take a moment, which is very hard to do. But some people can do it. And that’s what I hope to accomplish with this post. To reach people with that one moment of clarity.

      • My point is if you are able to “think about who you might affect” you aren’t at the level of depression I know of. That level, you don’t care about anything else. Nothing matters… that is what you are missing here. You won’t reach someone that is truly at that state, because they don’t care about anyone else’s opinion.

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