For Ashley

From the short time of my diagnosis to now, I know that living with BPD and Bipolar isn’t a death sentence. Logic doesn’t always work when the logical thing to do is it kill yourself. So I’m here to shed a little light on the subject.

Living with BPD is hard. We go through our lives being told that we’re the problem, and maybe we are, at the time. But that doesn’t mean that the world would be better off without us. Logically, in our depressed state, we want to die. It’s the logical thing to do. It’s better for everyone around us and everyone that we care about will be better off without us, but that’s not true. And we all know it. But we forget it when we’re down.

Try to do things that will help you remember that you’re not alone in this. Before you get down, right notes to yourself, encouraging you to keep going. Show yourself what you’re living for with pictures or poems. Post them places that you will see them every day, like the bathroom mirror, bedroom door, car’s rear view mirror, any place that you will see them daily. When you feel like you’re 6 feet from the edge, call someone who cares about you and can talk you down. When you’re on the edge, have someone come over so they can physically talk you down, get in your face in a loving manner and talk to you. When you’re ready to jump, it’s time to call in some back up. Call the suicide hotline 1-800-273-8255. When that fails, call the ambulance and get yourself to a hospital. Take someone with you so that they can be there to support you until you’re admitted. It’s scary, but it’s better than making a permanent decision for a temporary emotion.

BPD:

Most people who have BPD suffer from:

  • Problems with regulating emotions and thoughts

  • Impulsive and reckless behavior

  • Unstable relationships with other people.

  • NIMH

According to the DSM, Fourth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-IV-TR), to be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, a person must show an enduring pattern of behavior that includes at least five of the following symptoms:

  • Extreme reactions—including panic, depression, rage, or frantic actions—to abandonment, whether real or perceived

  • A pattern of intense and stormy relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often veering from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation)

  • Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self, which can result in sudden changes in feelings, opinions, values, or plans and goals for the future (such as school or career choices)

  • Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating

  • Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting

  • Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days

  • Chronic feelings of emptiness and/or boredom

  • Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger

  • Having stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside the body, or losing touch with reality.

  • NIMH

We aren’t always the problem. We have problems. We are good people that deserve love and acceptance. Don’t forget that. Just because we sabotage ourselves doesn’t mean that we don’t deserve happiness and love and every other right known to mankind. WE are people too. We just have problems, but we work on them everyday. And every day that we don’t give into our urges is another day spent being a warrior. Keep on my warriors and know that you are loved.

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About Preslee

I am diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Panic and Anxiety disorders, and PTSD. I write about my own personal experiences and thoughts.

Posted on April 13, 2014, in Life, Mental Health, Support and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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