Failures or Lessons
I’ve been thinking about all the things that have led me here. All the mistakes I’ve made, all the failures I’ve encountered. Its been a long journey and I’m only 22.
I hate myself,
more than I ever let on.
I’m burned out at 22.
I lived too fast and I loved too much and I’ll die too young,
but I chose this cup that I drank from.
Knew what I was getting into.
I hate that I’ve made so many mistakes, then again, hindsight is always 20/20. If I knew then what I know now, how different would my life be?
If I knew that I would be regretting quitting school just to deal with life, would I have quit, or stuck with it? Would I have really thought that getting married would solve some of my problems in my relationship?
I look at where I am and where I could be, all I can see is failure after failure. I hate it. I think about all the chances I had and wasted!
Looking back at my failed relationship, I’ve wasted 5 years of my life on someone that didn’t/doesn’t care for me. 5 years!
It hurts, a lot. And he acts as if the sun is always shining. He’s not even touched by this sadness and emptiness I feel when I think about him… But he would have had to care about me in the first place.
I haven’t really cried much.
I have to keep looking forward. There is a reason for this….
Not a failure, just a lesson.