A New Day – TW

tw-sign6It’s a new day, and the clouds have not lifted.

I’m back home, for which I am thankful. But, I’m sad. I’m so sad that my heart hurts. My chest hurts.

I am anxious. And I am very depressed. And I’ve thought about how I could hang myself. But, there’s nothing that I could hang myself on, so there’s no worries there. What I am concerned about, why my thoughts are this vicious. Why I am so sad that my heart is hurting, hurts me.

I forgot my pills last night, but one dose should not hurt me this bad. But I hurt, and I have no one to turn to right now. I texted my mom, and all she can say is “I’m sorry.”

What else can she say?

I’m sorry you feel this way. I’m sorry that I feel this way. And I’m sorry that my thoughts are so violent. And I’m sorry that I can’t be better today.

 

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About Preslee

I am diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Panic and Anxiety disorders, and PTSD. I write about my own personal experiences and thoughts.

Posted on July 1, 2013, in Mental Health and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. some days can be bad, missing meds too could strengthen such a day. How are you now?

    • Still contemplating how I could die. I’m anxious and now I’m at work. I don’t want to be here. My head hurts, I’m dizzy, I’m tired. And I don’t want to do this anymore.

  2. remember too, this is the hard one, to convince your self.. but this is temporary. Keep telling yourself that. It will get better. Ride it through.

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