I’m tired of working nights. I don’t like the way it makes me feel, or the fact that I’m not home where I belong.
Everyone has to work. Yea, I get that. But that doesn’t mean that I like having to be here. I don’t like having to deal with people. The residents are killing me. And they all know that something is wrong.
Then there are the people I work with that have no idea who I am or what I deal with: “would you just cheer up?” Well, shit! Since you asked so nicely, why don’t I just do that! Seriously thought.
I’m mad tonight, calmer now, but I’ve imagined myself slamming a resident’s head into the wall. All because I just put then in bed and they wanted up already. I hate when they do that! It makes me mad.
Some of the people I deal with think or act like we are their personal servants. I’m sorry, but that is not what I get paid to do. But in all honesty, it is. Because if someone doesn’t like you, they can call state. It’s a huge ordeal. But we aren’t here to serve the residents. We’re here to help not serve. I am not a servant.
I’ve thought about continuing in the nursing field. Getting my medication aide certification. I could do it. If I really tried. I’ve almost been here a year now. Never would have thought that I would make it.
I need a change though. I’m tired of late nights being too stressful, and then having too much time to think of ways to hurt someone.