My Mom: The Survivor

My mmomom, though I’ve only really known as my Mom for 3 years now, is my mom. And she is the greatest Mom I know.

She has put up with an abusive relationship for 28 years. She loved Bitch for 28 years, put up with a lot of things, and came out on top of the world. She is in a much better relationship, finally. She’s happy!

28 years is a long time to deal with things, and for 19 of those years she held a secret from me. Yea, it hurt when I found out, but we are better for it.

She is a survivor of mental and emotional abuse.

In the years that I can remember, Mom was made to be the bad guy. She was always the problem, always the one who started things. Looking back, (hindsight is great, isn’t it?) I can see that Mom was the unsung heroine. She was the one who stood up for me when Bitch was being too hard, too controlling, or unruly. She was a strong cheerleader.

We have always held a special relationship, one that, at the time, I didn’t understand. We always had a connection. We could talk, where Bitch and I couldn’t. We laughed and played around, we even went fishing together.

The best childhood memory I hold: Early morning fishing trips to Eagle Mountain Lake. We would leave before the sun was up, stop at a convenient store to get powdered donuts and soda, and head out. I remember her letting me “drive” while she consulted the map, buckled her seat belt, to lit a cigarette. I remember spending all day out on that lake. I remember losing my favorite water bottle, favorite fishing lure, and I think a fishing pole! But we had a BLAST! We spent so many summer days out there. The worst memory of the lake: that one fateful day where that dang water moccasin was on my stringer… She went to get it off, and swung the stringer, smacking it against the dock. When we went to leave, snakes were EVERYWHERE! That was the last time we went there. I miss being out there. 

Since I have found out the truth, I don’t think that we have changed anything. We might have gotten closer, but nothing has changed in our relationship. We have always been close.memom

She has survived 3 heart attacks, three! And she is STILL here. She’s still mom. She has scared me, because I can’t stand the idea of losing her. But she has survived.

She lives on, despite set backs. She thrives and she loves so greatly. She still supports me, she reminds me every time that I need it. “I’m behind you 100%.” How great does that feel when it feels like the world is crashing around you? She and I talk every day. She knows that I love her, and I know that she loves me. And I think that means a lot.

She will always be in my heart. She will always be my loudest cheerleader. And for that, I will always be thankful that she is my mom.

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About Preslee

I am diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Panic and Anxiety disorders, and PTSD. I write about my own personal experiences and thoughts.

Posted on May 1, 2013, in Creativity, Life and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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