Teenage Me

If I could go back in time and write a letter to myself…what on earth would I say?

Hey,

I know this is weird, maybe we’re just dreaming. But I’m you, from the future. Don’t FREAK OUT!

Believe it or not, not much has changed. You’re still the reader and writer that you always were. Are you still with me?

So…Where are we? What year are we reading this so that I know where to begin?

I guess we will start with high school. Because, believe it or not, this is where EVERYTHING starts, as usual. Like a stupid movie about teens, this is where everything happens.

So, ninth grade. Everything is pretty good in this year. But you’re going to have some trouble sleeping. I’m still not sure why. But it happens, so be ready. What you really need to do is go and talk to the counselor. If I remember correctly, she’s an alright kind of person. Go talk to her. Don’t “play a prank” on Preston…It ends you up in the counselor’s office against your will. Don’t do it. You just need to go ask for help.

Tenth grade…You didn’t go ask for help did you? Nope. So, ok…Let’s move on. The summer before your 10th grade year, you move, to a small town of all places. Hun, they don’t have football. But, they have band. Now, be patient because the director is new just like you. The first year is going to be interesting. You’re going to meet a BOY! He’s different, and sweet. But you’re wasting your time. He’s not worth the time or effort. BUT, he introduces you to The Beatles, brass, and the orchestra! But he’s not the one you need to be with. He will end up hurting you, because you let him. Don’t let him…

So, after you and Tyler have your fling and bitch finds out—oh wait, you don’t know who bitch is, well that’s a long story that no one bothered to tell you. You’re adopted. You look like bitch, but you always were Bippie’s. She loves you, and will stand by you through this transition. There’s a reason you share her humor, and the same cough. We could have figured this out. But we didn’t. That’s ok. Just don’t get upset. Now you know. OK? We call her bitch because, she ends up leaving you high and dry. She won’t talk to us, at all, no contact. It’s like you have become invisible. But, be warned, she will tell all of her friends that it’s your fault.–Anyhow, bitch is going to tell you to break up, just like she did with Preston. And, we won’t listen, like usual. But don’t let him hurt you.

You see that strange kid on the bus? The first day of 11th grade. He’s on the first row, he’s weird right? No. Trust me, don’t count him out yet. He’s going to apply to your job, and you’re going to think he’s crazy, but you’re going to like him. Don’t let anyone fool you. You like him, and he likes you too. You should just go with him and leave Tyler alone, completely.

You’re going to get engaged to this wonderful boy. He proposes after prom, and it’s the most romantic thing that has ever happened. Stay with him, and don’t let Tyler fool you–he’s nothing but dirt under your feet. This boy, he’s wonderful. Trust him.

You’re not as far as you would have hoped. Maybe you should give some serious consideration to what you want out of life. Why are you wanting to go to college, and don’t let it just to be to get away from the house. Put some thought into this. Because, not thinking about it, well…That’s why we aren’t in school anymore. Maybe you should go for psych your first time in. You’ve loved it, you could do it!

You’re going to get married young, to this wonderful boy who turns into this wonderful man. Don’t worry about grades, because that’s not what counts, though, it is nice because you graduate top 10!

When you start feeling depressed, go talk to someone. It’s ok. We just need to nip it in the bud before it gets too bad.

Remember that I love you, and you will make it through. Just be patient. Oh, and don’t start cutting. It’s a dumb thing to do and it’s hard to stop.

Love always,

Future me

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About Preslee

I am diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Panic and Anxiety disorders, and PTSD. I write about my own personal experiences and thoughts.

Posted on April 4, 2013, in Life and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. This is so sweet. But now I am curious about the prank on Preston!

    • I was a dipshit and dealing with my own drama and kinda took a “joke” too far. I was doing a secret admirer type thing, it was dumb at the time, but by the time it was finished it was too far and too stupid to even remember all the details. It was basically my cry for help by the time everything was said and done. It landed me in the office and parents called. They were saying things like “this is a red flag, we can’t just not intervene. You need to get her some help.” Basically, from what little I do remember, it was me saying that I was going to hurt myself — again, my cry for help. By the time it got started to the time it was abruptly stopped I was an insomniac, hallucinating during school, dealing with heavy depression and serious thoughts of suicide or at least serious self-harm. Not exactly where I had wanted the “prank” to go…

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