A Day in the Life

Work is a major trigger for me. It gets my anxiety to work overtime, all the time. And it really irritates me, which upsets me more. There is so much to do and not enough time to do it. Not to mention that there is no help!
Tonight was a little different. One of the day girls stayed over, til 9, to help me put everyone to bed. It was a huge help. If only I could get help at 5 am, I would be set! Five is when I get the busiest. Having to do a check and change on everyone, answering call lights, and getting people up, that’s a lot to do in two hours. I have 30 residents now. That’s a lot of people for one aide!
There’s a few people that I really can’t stand. I know, I shouldn’t be like that, but there are those that just really get on my nerves. Like tonight, there is one lady who is sick. So what does she do? She whines like a dog. I understand she doesn’t feel good. And maybe she’s in pain. But there is no need for that. It’s just attention seeking. Then there is another lady who waits on her roommate hand and foot. She’ll go as far as getting in your face if she thinks you aren’t taking care of the other.
Then there are the residents that just make me smile. The ones that are appreciative of your hard work, those that try to not bother you, but they are glad you’re there. Those who crack jokes and care about what’s going on with you. They share life stories and just make you feel like all the crap is worth it. Those are the reasons to smile.
My husband, I asked him if he thought I would ever be happy, and he nodded. I asked, why am I not happy now? He simply said, because you’re not trying to be happy. I told him that it’s hard for me to be happy when work triggers things for me. I’m not dealing with stress like I should. He said just find the one thing that makes you smile and try to focus on that. That is just crazy enough to work.
So there’s my thoughts, for the moment at least.

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About Preslee

I am diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Panic and Anxiety disorders, and PTSD. I write about my own personal experiences and thoughts.

Posted on March 20, 2013, in Life, Mental Health and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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