This Line Has Been Disconnected

I feel disconnected.

I’m fairly sure that I’ve done it to myself…

But I still feel like, I don’t know, maybe I should have a life.

I think the problem is, is that I’ve had this terrific weekend, full of family and spending time with my husband. And now, it’s back to freaking reality. It’s just like college bull shit all over again. It totally sucks.

I hate feeling like this. Part of it, too, is, probably, because I have been unmedicated for about two weeks now. I have to wait another week to be able to even be seen for medication. I was supposed to see a new doctor yesterday, but we didn’t exactly make it back in time for the appointment, so I had to reschedule-for next Monday…

Right at this moment, I am watching Finding Nemo. Because, apparently, cleaning house is not a valid option, even though it really needs to be done.

I miss my husband. It’s not like he’s been gone for forever. He’s just at work, and I’m at home, and I should be cleaning. But I’m not. I’m sitting here like an idiot, not knowing what to do.

I know that I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I’ve been gone for a week now, and I sure as hell don’t want to go back. When I go to work, I feel like I’m in trouble. Waiting for the bottom to drop, waiting to be hit. Just waiting. I hate it. I hate that I hate it.

I’m disconnected…


About Preslee

I am diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Panic and Anxiety disorders, and PTSD. I write about my own personal experiences and thoughts.

Posted on March 19, 2013, in Mental Health and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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