Stress, Frustration, & Yelling at Nurses

I’m finding out, more each day, that I do NOT handle stress well… That was proven all too well last night at work.

One thing you should know about me, if you push me hard enough, make me mad enough, I will start to cry. I have no idea why. But I do.

So, work was very stressful. I had one resident throwing up, there was only me and 2 other aides in the building, and the lights were going off like Christmas. I was frustrated.

There are certain residents that I get along with really well. I can handle the stress that they provide without much issues. Then…There are those residents, if you have ever worked in any kind of business- you know what I’m talking about, there are those residents that you would love to maybe strangle with their call light…smother with a pillow…Um…Dark? Sorry… Anyhow, you know what I’m talking about. The ones that are constantly whining about something, asking for stupid things, or those that take FOREVER to move! (Or make up their mind for that matter.)

When I got to work, I was already in a mood. I had been dealing with the anxious feeling all day. And I couldn’t find anything to help me relax (since my doctor won’t help me) so that I could just calm down before having to go to work.

I was in a mood when I walked in the door. I always look for the cars of my coworkers when I come into the parking lot. I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. I get in the building, clock in, sign in, sign on the stupid headset and go to take a resident to smoke. Someone stole the lighter, once again, out of the cigarette box. So, running around, and my nurse catches me, I think on my way back and says that they are talking about splitting up a hall because someone called in. Really? That’s all I could say. Then she tells me that a resident got sick and to get some help to clean them up. Get that all done, and like maybe 10 minutes later, they are sick again. I’m not mad that they got sick, they can’t help it. I’m mad at the situation.

There are so many call lights, plus having to deal with another hall, waiting for one nurse to jump me like she has been lately (which really makes me upset because I do my job and she needs to back off), I’m already on the verge of tears and I’m ready to walk out. My nurse, she’s an Angel, keeps trying to make me smile, she knows that I’m upset, I just can’t get out of this funk. Anyhow, I think she was the unfortunate one who asked if I was ok, or made the grave mistake of saying “it’ll be ok” to which I replied with a loud tone, vulgarity, and tears.

I don’t think I scared her. She was very calm and even showed some sympathy. She even suggested that I try maybe doing some other field of work, because of my issues (which the stress is only adding to). I don’t think she’s ever seen me that mad.

Anyhow, I went back and apologized. I really didn’t mean to yell at her. And I wasn’t directing it at her, she just happened to be in the way… She told me that “if this is what it takes to keep you here, then that’s ok!”

I texted Mom and told her that I freaked out and yelled at my nurse. Of course, she was concerned. She wanted to make sure that I was ok and, then, that I wasn’t in trouble. I didn’t even think about getting in trouble. I didn’t think at all. It just came out, all in one, loud burst.

We went to lunch together and talked. Just catching up with what had been going on since the last time we saw each other. She had been sick when I came back to work Sunday, and Wednesday she was out with an upper respiratory infection.

Word of advice: yelling is a good stress reliever… Don’t yell at residents, or a nurse who could write you up.

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About Preslee

I am diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Panic and Anxiety disorders, and PTSD. I write about my own personal experiences and thoughts.

Posted on March 8, 2013, in Life, Mental Health and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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